Let's ride the Earthquake hitting Christchurch at 4.35am 4th September.
Experiencing a 7.1 Earthquake; has now been ticked off my list of 'things to experience' in life. I am not sure that I ever put that on my list! But thanks Mother Nature you crazy spontanious bitch. I am ticked off from ticking the 8 second death roll as complete.
Waking up to the noise and the shaking was like a fucked up alarm clock that doesnt have a snooze or off button. The alarm ring tone was screaming out loud and clear.
8 seconds = 'Holy Fuck I'm Going to Die'.
Within a millisecond I prayed, screamed, and rolled out of bed.
I prayed again; "Please God let me find my clothes so that I am not seen crawling round on the floor naked". Its not often you see a manic white naked blimp crawling round on the floor chanting 'Fuck, Fuck, Fuck………'.
Its amazing how easily you are able to find clothes by the feel of the fabric to know that you have tracksuit pants in hand.
Knicker, knickers; who needs knickers. Fuck Knickers!!! I just want clothes on NOW!!!
Being my luck if I had chosen to be practical and anal retentive during an earthquake my knickers would have just created another crisis within a crisis. I would have been like a crazy mental patient chanting 'Fuck, Fuck, Fuck………' all tangled up in the dark with my knickers inside out and legs in the wrong holes.
Fashion Crisis within a another crisis during aftermath adrenaline kicking in? No knickers happening here; commando it was!
Lessons to self, Mother Nature in states of 'Fuckness' is just not fun
Power is gone, it's 4.45am and there is an eerie silence. Did that just fucken happen!
Through the darkness a voice calls out 'ARE YOU GUYS OKAY!!!!!'
I was up and out of bed, stunned into silence, muted in fear. But dressed.
This was turning into the 'Biggest Bugger of my life'
I grab the Laptop and plug in my Telecom XT Mobile Broadband stick, 'best idea Win for me'
Laptop message - 'Please wait installing'
WTF!!!! Install now! I COMMANDO you!
'Please wait Connecting'
'Are you serious?'
As soon as the connection was up I was Google searching faster than a horny hamster humping his own reflection.
It took what felt like forever for anything to come up in the news. But when it did it was bad.
The media frenzied; Streaming news minute by minute. Photo's online before first light. It was brutal but so far there are no reported deaths.
Never before had i imagined this, not for us, not for me; not for Christchurch.
Tsunami not expected!
I had just plugged in my laptop, installed my data stick and waited for 30 minutes just so the news could tell me that a tsunami was not coming. Whew! Dumb Ass, you would have been screwed.
I am too scared to cry., if there has ever been a time where I have wanted to cry like a little girl, it would be NOW!!!!
The earth still rumbles. It's a strange sound. Loud canon like blasts that feel like they are being fired from the centre of the earth.
Fuck! Another EARTHQUAKE!!!!! Note to self, it is called an aftershock retard!
I didn't realise until there was no power how comforting light can be. I wanted more light than my ill prepared dim little tea light candle. Another shake! Tea light candle is redeemed just for being itself.
'I need a cigarette now!!!!!!!!
Landlords; I don't give a crap about your 'No Smoking Inside Rule'. I am having a god damn cigarette and staying right under this doorframe with a look of DILLIGAF (do I look like I give a fuck) on my face.
I think I just inhaled a full cigarette in one breathe.
Ponderance under a doorframe, What a strange occurrence to give you perspective of how small you really are. A little speck in the universe that means absolutely nothing to Mother Nature. She is without emotion, without conscience and no amount of 'Fucks' make the shaking stop.
I am Still Shakin and definitely Stirred.
