The surroundings are like some futuristic derelict ruins, palm trees stand tall and the smoke begins to flare in the distance. I run with seven of my squad, vying for the same objective.
To kick some ass.
Grenades fly, a series of "Fuck's" echo through the mic's. This is online gaming at its best.
250 players online from all corners of the globe in a game that is an underdog in its following compared to the over priced hype of Call of Duty. MAG is the epitome of shooter heaven for die hard FPS fans.
Players pitted against each other in Domination maps, everyone with Bluetooth headsets. Our nationalities are broad, but our objective the same.
I look at my TV screen of coded Awesomeness waiting for the re-spawn. For those who don't know what a re spawn means. In short I have been handed my ass by someone who is a better shooter than me and died. The re pawn is the count down to come back into the game. If you still don't understand what a re spawn is then please do not read anymore. Put the blog down!
FPS (First person shooters) aren't for the faint hearted, you die a lot, and you kill a lot and then you die some more and so the game goes. Playing a FPS game is hard and fast, but conquering and owning your own stats on the world leader boards is something very cool. Especially as a girl gamer.
I run in squads, I pledge allegiance to an alliance of 50 people world wide that I play with on a regular basis. I wear the RIP tag with pride. We are an elite group of humans that hold our own and we give a good fight.
I digressed my apologies.
So I am running around futuristic derelict ruins, palm trees stand tall and the smoke begins to flare in the distance. I am running in a squad of 8, vying for the same objective. A notification comes up on my screen.
You have been voted to be kicked from the game.
WTF Someone in my is trying to kick me from my game. I have 1 vote against my name. (A game runs for 20 -40 minutes) and during this time a player can be kicked mid game if they get enough votes. Within a squad of eight players you need majority vote of 5 to successfully kick someone.
I wish the person who is trying to kick me some nicities through my MIC. You need another four votes; dickhead! The other 6 members of the squad of eight that I am running in are all the same alliance as I am.
What do you think your odds are? You feeling lucky Punk?
What an idiot!!!
Our British alliance member takes the piss further calling him a 'fuckin twit' Everyone roars with laughter (I think it’s the accent) We all vote to kick the random person that has just made the mistake of trying to kick me.
1 vote for me - 7 votes for you. Loser!
Most of the games I go into, guys must read my name and think - Is it really a girl or just a guy pretending a girl. The gaming world maybe the only place that this is an acceptable question to ask.
Boys hate being killed by a girl. So much so that GuiltyGirl becomes the most sought after target.
While my stats are good I can get my ass handed to me quicker than Mc Donalds can put out a Big Mac to an Ethiopian hunger striker.
I'm alive again!!!! Yes!!!
Two steps, hmmmm……….No dead again!
I'm up, I'm down but my kill to death ratio (KDR) is not too bad.
Does a little happy dance in my head
New Game.....Loading.
No one from the alliance I am in is online anymore so I am playing with only one other player that I know; everyone has MICS. Using a MIC is just like talking on an extremely abnoxius conference call. The room is chatty as we wait for a game to start.
A teenage voice fills my headset. "You’re a girl"
I pause for thought. Check my bits are still attached. Hmmm my name says Guiltygirl, i sound like a girl. I am thinking this guy is a genius.
In a testosterone fuelled environment where names like Sniper007 or Grimreaper666 are more common I am a minority.
I bite my tongue. Unusual, but I must refrain from insulting every idiot I meet.
'Yes I am a girl'
His response is of surprise - "Wow I didn't know girls even played games, well games other than head games. Are you Australian?"
This guy is so small brained that I might just squish him like a bug. I am thinking he has obviously read the book How to win friends and influence people.
'Fuck you! I am a Kiwi' I reply.
'A what?' Says a confused voice through the MIC.
"I live in New Zealand. A kiwi"
'Oh so you are a native, what is it they call them over there, marr - rees'
I am going to kick this asshole in 5, 4, 3.....
'No I'm not a fuckin native, You must be from America, by the sound of your accent?'
'No, I am from Canada'
Oops my mistake. Why are Canadians so sensitive to being called Americans?
Idiot.
The game Starts. 15 seconds to spawn in.
I get a friend request, my new Canadian bacon is wanting to be friends. OMG a new BFF I think I might explode with happiness.
Email received icon pops up on my tv screen. Against my better judgement I add him, he seems okay for a little speck on the www map. Believe me there are worse assholes out there.
1 minute later……….
Email received. The subject line reads, 'What r u guilty of?'
Wow that's original. I don't answer.
1 minute later……….
New mail, 'I bet ur sexy, u mak me horni wanna go in2 a cht rm'
My answer........
Ahhhh No. I would rather have you on the opposite team so I can riddle your stupid ass with bullets. While you may think that you are trying to be awesome, going into a private chat room with you brings thoughts of stapling my eyelids closed so that I don't have to read your less than adequate use of the English language.
You are an idiot.
Send
1 Minute Later……..
'So does tht mean u wanna chat?
What a fucken Muppet.
FRIEND DELETE!!!
Its just another night on MAG in the magic melting pot of the FPS online world.
